To the girl who feels like an outsider

I’ve been there. I’ve felt that loneliness, how you can be in a room full of people and yet feel alone and not say a word. Felt that feeling where it seems like everyone is a part of a “group” but you.  When I finally stopped living for the world and started living for the King, I pretty much dropped everyone. I stopped talking to anyone I partied and drank with, anyone who knew me from the way I was living. For awhile I felt like it was just me. Me and Jesus against the world. 

 Sweet girl, I can’t even explain to you how long I prayed for friends. Prayed for people who wanted to live life the way I wanted to. I prayed I’d stop feeling so awkward and have a group to fit in.I prayed so long that it felt like I’d always be that girl in the room. 

But I was wrong. The Lord is good, and He provides more than you can even imagine. He doesn’t want us to feel lonely, honestly were never fully alone. He’s always there. Sometimes, those seasons of loneliness are when you’re supposed to cling to the Lord even tighter. Pray even harder. Have even more faith than you thought possible. You’ve got to believe that there’s more, that He hears you.

Keep praying, keep praying that Godly people will be placed in your life. Pray that God would guide you through the loneliness. That He would make you feel loved when you feel like an outsider. Pray that you would become the friend to others that you need for yourself. I promise, those prayers will be answered. If you would of told me this time last year that I would be in the place I am now I would of thought you were crazy. But God has you, He has your best interest at heart. Trust him and if you ever need a friend, let me know.


Break Throughs & Blessings

Can I be completely honest for a second? I’ve been in a pretty crappy season as of late. One of those seasons where you can barely keep your head above the water. Where you push the Lord away. I’ve been told the enemy can sense when blessings are coming your way, when you’re so close to that break through you can taste it. The devil sees when all things are going right for you and the kingdom and he absolutely hates it. He tries every way imaginable to get in the way. Honestly, for the last two months I haven’t wanted to go to church. I haven’t wanted to do small groups. I haven’t wanted to do much of anything for the kingdom. I let the enemy creep his way in, I let myself slip into this fog, I let myself feel alone. But you know what? God never left. I may of isolated myself, but He did not. I may of not wanted to go to church, but He wanted me to be there. He never stopped whispering to me, no matter how hard I tried not to listen. He never stopped, and He never will.

See, one day you’ll wake up and that season you’ve struggled through won’t be so hard. You’ll want to do the things. You’ll want to lead. You’ll want to walk in your calling. You’ll want to do whatever you can to be in the presence of our sweet Abba, and He’ll be in the same place as He’s always been, right there with you. We may stray away, but God stays tethered to us.

Keep pushing through, there’s blessings and break throughs ahead.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13